After being in an arm cast for 6 months, I thought “So wait….being fat can hurt me?” Ironically, on Fat Tuesday of that year I made a promise to God that I would not eat anything bad for me. What was supposed to last 40 days lasted 2 years. I […]
I had been moving through a haze after graduation but had found employment. On the eve of my first day I crashed face first to the ground off my bike. I remember my doctor saying, “you broke your arm because you are obese” which I thought was funny because as […]
Within the darkness of my own mind there was a spark. My pride. I had missed over a third of the year, spent several weeks laying in bed, wondering if I just laid here long enough, quiet enough, would I just cease to exist? I had been wondering if death […]
Why I said I’d never do it: I have crazy anxiety. Like random ass over active nerves and panic attacks that seem to always get the best of me. I have several triggers that I am aware of but it’s my fear of being in crowded spaces that has kept […]
The Fall: Awakened, the first thing I did was to seek shelter. At the time I thought it was love, but it was probably desperation. It was like I was putting on a stage production entitled “The Abandoned Son.” It was a Shakespearean tragedy in which I was the star, […]
Failing two classes in the fall of my senior year of high school was the beginning. I can still see my government teacher smirking at the idea of me getting expelled. I think this is where my pattern of success followed by complete and total meltdown began…
I awoke one day. Something had changed. Childhood had suddenly vanished and now I was stuck in Limbo. Neither child nor adult, my mind was flooded with every feeling and problem that childish ignorance had made me blind to. It was the first time I fell.
Why I said I’d never do it: I was always taught modesty, modesty, modesty… and that people should dress for their size. Not just in my home, but everywhere I looked. From an early age, even when it wasn’t explicitly stated, I knew big girls couldn’t be cheerleaders, big girls […]
